Destroying My Last Memory Cell

LawrenceWelk

My search for this elusive song began in 1981, when I was 17 years old.  The song itself was rather unremarkable.  If I had to describe it, I would say that it was a peppy cha-cha-esque instrumental song from the 1960s.

I can never know when that song entered my mind.  Using my writerly imagination and bullshit, I would guess that I was in a stroller in 1966.  Or I could have been four years old and with an Orange Crush in my hand.

Fresno, CA:  1980-1982

During this period, I became obsessed with the past, and like any child I had this misguided feeling that I could make something happen if I thought about it hard enough.  Specifically, I wanted to enter the year 1966.

I would hear this song at the Kmart on Blackstone Avenue in Fresno, California, at the old 1967-era Grille that had been so well-preserved that it could have been placed in the Smithsonian’s American History Museum–an absolute period piece with translucent primary-colored plastic panels dividing the dining area from the store.

Often in the 1980s I would visit the Kmart Grille to visit 1967, that gateway year between narrow ties and psychedelia.  But that damn song!  What was it?

Year after year,  I would hear it.  But it was never significant enough for the DJ to mention it (if even played by a DJ – more often, it was administered by the people-less Muzak robots).

Palm Springs, CA:  1982

At age 22, I am driving down that long stretch of mountains down I-10 westward to Palm Springs.  About 40 miles before, a sandstorm pitted my windshield beyond repair.  It’s more like coasting than driving.  And that damn song again on one of these Palm Springs radio stations for retirees.  Here’s the thing – the song dredged up some kind of deep latent memories of being a child in 1967.  God only knows where I had originally heard it.

Over the years, I valued my non-knowledge of that song.  It was the Final Mystery.  It was my personal Sasquatch, my Lochness Monster.  It’s more fun not-knowing than it is knowing.

Secretary (2002)

Watching the James Spader movie Secretary in 2002, I heard this song as part of the soundtrack.  I thought I finally had the song:  credits, right?  Not a chance.

Thinking that it was “Whatchamacallit”, by Esquivel, I purchase the song but am sorely disappointed.  Back to square one.

Seattle, WA:  2008

Alas, the secret would be revealed on August 18, 2008.  I cannot remember the circumstances, but I find that the song is called “Music to Watch Girls Go By.”

This is the Billy May version…

The Lawrence Welk version…

By Lee Wallender

Deception, influence, fakes, illusions, themed environments, simulations, secret places, secret infrastructure, imagined places, dreamscapes, movie sets and props, evasions, camouflage, studio backlots, miniatures.

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