Invisible Themepark

Category: Secret Spaces

  • “Fail-Safe’s” Secret Spaces

    Fail-Safe, the 1964 movie with Henry Fonda, Walter Mattheu, and yes, Dom DeLuise, is full of secret places.  In fact, with the exception of the very beginning (when Walter Mattheu, tough guy that he is, slaps a woman and says, “You’re not my kind”), most everything takes place in the President’s bunker, the War Room, or an enclosed boardroom.

    President’s Bunker

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    Henry Fonda closes the door, and that’s it.  Now it’s just Fonda and a young Tom Hanks-looking Larry Hagman; a desk; telephone set; pitcher of water with glasses; and a big, giant air conditioning vent.

    War Room

    Classic war room with the “big board.”  Unfortunately, the parody Dr. Strangelove has a much cooler war room.

    Conference Room

    A V-shaped conference table and a podium for war-monger Walter Mattheu to pontificate.  Unlike Fonda and Hagman in the bunker, these generals and civilian Mattheu have plenty of coffee to tide them through the beginning of World War III.

  • Hiding Space in HVAC Vent? Interesting But Still a Dumb Idea.

    Hidden compartments in houses take all shapes and forms:  electrical outlets, hollow books, fake CDs, false cabinet fronts.  But what about the heating system? Any dope dealer or jewel thief will tell you that it's easy enough to unscrew the heating register (grille) and stow drugs or diamonds in the metal ductwork.  You can improve on this by taping the stash to the top of the duct or even using magnets. Anybody who has ever watched the TV series Breaking Bad knows that Walter White, for a period, tapes his cash to the inside of the heating register. But what about creating a dedicated HVAC compartment?

    Hidden Safes, Inc. offers an HVAC vent hiding compartment, and they say that it
    ...opens like a drawbridge revealing the Secret compartment. The air vent secret compartment comes completely assembled with 2 removable shelves, and 4 fasteners. Simply cut a hole in the drywall or paneling using a razor knife or hacksaw blade and put 4 screws in and you’re finished!

    Flaws With This System

    Nice idea.  But other than the high cost of $259.95 + $15 shipping, I see a few flaws:
    • Is this supposed to be an HVAC return?  A return is a large vent that sucks room air back into the system, so that it can be recirculated.  Thus...
    • If the heat or AC is running, any perceptive thief or lawman will notice that no air is being pulled into vent.
    • If it's not a return, it's a register.  Except registers are located in floors or ceilings.  That's because ducts cannot run through walls.
    • This product requires that you cut space for an entirely new vent.  While it's unlikely that anyone will be counting air vents in your rooms, why not try to be as exact about this as possible?
    Why not design a wall safe vent that fits into the actual HVAC system (rather than just a dummy vent) and which allows for air bypass? You wouldn't be able to get the same volume as with the other vents, but it might be enough to fool someone. In other words, why not just tape your contraband to the inside of the air return--Walter White-style?

  • Decora Doors

    Some companies have narrow specialties, and that describes Decora Doors of Dallas, Texas. Decora supplies hidden doors of many types: art niches, wine doors, DVD doors, and of course, the popular hidden bookcase door.

    Important to remember that these are not steel security doors. As Decora says…

    Decora Doors are often utilized as a passive security feature. While our doors are not true security doors like a steel door, they create the illusion of being a built-in wall bookcase or interior piece of built-in furniture. Many of our doors can also be equipped with secret latches.

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