Destroying My Last Memory Cell

My search for this elusive song began in 1981, when I was 17 years old.  The song itself was rather unremarkable.  If I had to describe it, I would say that it was a peppy cha-cha-esque instrumental song from the 1960s.

I can never know when that song entered my mind.  Using my writerly imagination and bullshit, I would guess that I was in a stroller in 1966.  Or I could have been four years old and with an Orange Crush in my hand.

Fresno, CA:  1980-1982

During this period, I became obsessed with the past, and like any child I had this misguided feeling that I could make something happen if I thought about it hard enough.  Specifically, I wanted to enter the year 1966.

I would hear this song at the Kmart on Blackstone Avenue in Fresno, California, at the old 1967-era Grille that had been so well-preserved that it could have been placed in the Smithsonian’s American History Museum–an absolute period piece with translucent primary-colored plastic panels dividing the dining area from the store.

Often in the 1980s I would visit the Kmart Grille to visit 1967, that gateway year between narrow ties and psychedelia.  But that damn song!  What was it?

Year after year,  I would hear it.  But it was never significant enough for the DJ to mention it (if even played by a DJ – more often, it was administered by the people-less Muzak robots).

Palm Springs, CA:  1982

At age 22, I am driving down that long stretch of mountains down I-10 westward to Palm Springs.  About 40 miles before, a sandstorm pitted my windshield beyond repair.  It’s more like coasting than driving.  And that damn song again on one of these Palm Springs radio stations for retirees.  Here’s the thing – the song dredged up some kind of deep latent memories of being a child in 1967.  God only knows where I had originally heard it.

Over the years, I valued my non-knowledge of that song.  It was the Final Mystery.  It was my personal Sasquatch, my Lochness Monster.  It’s more fun not-knowing than it is knowing.

Secretary (2002)

Watching the James Spader movie Secretary in 2002, I heard this song as part of the soundtrack.  I thought I finally had the song:  credits, right?  Not a chance.

Thinking that it was “Whatchamacallit”, by Esquivel, I purchase the song but am sorely disappointed.  Back to square one.

Seattle, WA:  2008

Alas, the secret would be revealed on August 18, 2008.  I cannot remember the circumstances, but I find that the song is called “Music to Watch Girls Go By.”

This is the Billy May version…

The Lawrence Welk version…