Want an icepick up your butt? While this sounds too good to be true—for some people—it’s an unfathomable nightmare for most of us. Yet some people think this is a great idea.
Learn everything that ends up where the sun don’t shine and why they do it.
Thank You, Meticulous Recordkeepers
Thanks to the brave-hearted researchers at the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS), we know all about “rectal foreign bodies.”
Turns out, it’s a big deal. Many of these items cause pelvic and lower torso injuries and sickness that may require surgery or ostomy creation (procedures like colostomies).
Why People Do This
At first, patients are vague about why the item was inserted. After establishing a rapport with hospital staff, the patient eventually comes clean.
One-third of the people report that they inserted the item for sexual stimulation.
As far as the other two-third:
About 5% of the patients report that they were assaulted by an attacker wielding the item. Another 1% say that alcohol altered or eliminated their judgement, so they figured: Why the hell not stick a pair of scissors up there?
About 0.6% of the people were smuggling items in their booty.
Common Types of Items
The most common type of item is for sexual stimulation. These are devices like massagers, butt plugs, and vibrators. These account for just under 25% of the item types.
As far as the other 75%:
- Jewelry (8.1%).
- Pens and pencils (4.4%)
- Fishing gear (3.6%)
- Nonglass bottles or jars (2.6%)
- Other items, such as ice picks, Christmas decorations, razors, and kitchen bowls (58.5%)
Items Removed by ER Staff
The full list of items is insanely numerous and bizarre:
- Aerosol containers
- Alcoholic beverages
- Bags
- Balloons
- Balls
- Baseball equipment
- Bathtubs or shower fixtures
- Batteries
- Bed or bedframes
- Billiard products
- Building sets
- Cabinets and racks
- Candles
- Christmas decorations
- Cigarette or pipe lighters
- Cleansing brushes
- Coins
- Computers
- Crayons or chalk
- Desk supplies
- Diapers
- Dolls
- Drapery
- Drinking glasses
- Drinking straw
- Electric lighting equipment
- Electronics
- Fishing equipment
- Flashlights
- Flatware
- Games and game parts
- Glass bottles or jars
- Glass tubing
- Golf equipment
- Hair curlers
- Ice picks
- Jewelry
- Kitchen gadgets
- Kitchen mixing bowls
- Knives
- Light bulbs
- Manicure/pedicure tools
- Manual cleaning equipment
- Marbles
- Metal containers
- Nails/screws
- Non-electric razors
- Paper products
- Pet supplies
- Pipe
- Plastic containers
- Plastic products
- Plastic wrapping
- Portable food or beverage coolers
- Rope or string
- Scissors
- Screwdrivers
- Sewing basket articles
- Soap
- Stereo accessories
- Table tennis equipment
- Tableware
- Telephone and accessories
- Telescopes/binoculars/microscopes
- Thermometers
- Tie racks
- Toothpicks
- Towels or cloths
- Toy vehicles
- Toys
- Vaporizers
